Your Changing Direction

 “Examine what is said, not who speaks”

(Arabian proverb)

While I was in London last week I took the opportunity to wander over to see a performance art project that is taking place on the 4^th plinth in Trafalgar Square.

Originally built in 1841 the 4^th plinth never had its intended statue insitue as funds ran out before the project was completed. Now it houses more temporary projects.

July 6^thsaw the first of 2,400 people step onto that plinth as part of Antony Gormley’s 100 day living monument, “One & Other”.  Trafalgar Square is probably better known as an area that is normally visited for its monuments to royalty and generals. This project allows a different person to take centre stage, so to speak, every hour 24 hours a day until 14^th October.

As the project has gone on there have been many many different approaches to how those participating choose to spend their hour. There have been people campaigning for a cause that they believe passionately in, there havebeen those who entertained with readings, performance or interactive games of bingo with the surrounding crowd. One plinther dressed as a mime artist finished his hour with lots of tears and champagne after he proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes.

Topics have been emotional, passionate, entertaining and light hearted. Certainly from what I saw the project appears to be attracting attention from those passing by and had a small crowd who were watching and interacting. It’s also possible to watch via the internet. To see a live feed of the current occupant visit http://www.oneandother.co.uk/

Prior to their hour future “plinthers” have spent various amounts of time pondering how they were use their hour. In fact you can read some of their comments online and in various interviews.

So how would you spend your hour? The draw to be a plinther is now closed but if you had that opportunity, even if you found it scary, funny or just plain bizarre what would you do? If you had a message what would you want it to be?

Mahatma Gandhi when he was asked if he had a message for his people “My life is my message.”

If you were to take centre stage today and your life is your message what would it say?

I know that when I first heard that question there was lots of worthy things I’d have liked it to say. However, honestly, a more accurate message would have been; get close to getting opportunities then get scared and hide in the background for a bit longer.

This week I invite you to play with the question if your life was your message what would it be?

If it’s not what you would like it to be you could “beat yourself up about it” or you could bear in mind that firstly it helps with any communication if you first know what you want to communicate.

What would you like the message of your life to be?

If you’veever written a speech or some other form of communication it’s quite possible that you went through a few different versions with various tweaks and possibly major rewrites before you got a really clear message. So if you feel that your life doesn’t currently reflect what you want it to, you can always take action to get that message more aligned with what you want.

What is one huge step you could choose to take it closer to what you want?

What is one tiny tweak that would take you closer to what you want your life to be about?

Have a wonderful week

Love

Jen

“You must train your intuition – you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.”

(Ingrid Bergman)

I was driving along in some traffic recently, absently humming along with a tune on the radio, when I came across a series of pedestrian crossings with traffic lights. The thought occurred to me (as I cheerfully got to a particularly good bit of the song) that traffic lights are a hugely recognised form of communicating their desired message.

When I’m working with an individual or group, at a very basic level, the answer is often a mix of starting something new, continuing what they are already doing or stopping something.

This week I invite you to play with that concept and to make use of the traffic light signals to access your own inner judgement.

1. Pick something that you are happy playing with to get more insight, more ideas and/or generally get unstuck.

 

2. If you were going to start doing something in this area what could you do?
    
3. If you were going to continue doing something that makes a positive difference in this area what would that be?

 

4. If you were going to stop something connected with this area what would that be?

 

You may want to read through the next instructions before carrying them out.

5.  Imagine that you are going to take 4 different road journeys, all with the same starting point but along different routes.

 

6.  The first one is one that represents what you could start doing. As you imagine travelling along this road and this route notice what that journey is like. The length of this route is as long as it is, and while travelling you may observe the scenery, the condition of the road, who’s driving, the weather and the state of where this route ends.

 

7. Take as long as you need to fully experience that journey. When you  get to the end, imagine returning to your starting point. You’ll find that at the start of that road route a set of traffic lights has appeared. Just notice if they are at red, amber or green.

 

8.  Now, we’re going to travel along the second route, this road journey represents what you can continue doing. Again pay attention to what this particular journey is like and where it finishes. 

 

9.  Once you have reached your destination, as if by magic, you’ll find that you are back at the starting point and there is another set of traffic lights for the road just travelled. Are these ones on red, green or amber?

 

10.   Imagine taking the third option, the one that represents what you could stop doing and as you’ll probably have already have guessed you notice the journey and the destination as you travel along.

 

11.   When you have finished that route and you’re ready, you’ll find yourself back at that same starting point with another set of traffic lights that has appeared for the third route. Again notice if these ones are red, green or amber.

 

12.   The forth and final route represents an option you have not yet considered. As you travel along this route, there may or may not be clues about what this route actually represents. If there is not, it’s not important at this stage – just carry on noticing what there is to be aware of when taking this option.

 

13.   When you have completed that route, return to the start again and as another set of traffic lights have appeared – notice if these ones are on red, green or amber.

 

14.   At this stage become aware of your physical surroundings of the room that you are currently in and maybe even stretch and wiggle your fingers and toes.

 

So what did you learn by playing with that?

If you found that any of the traffic lights were on red, it’s probably a pretty good inner signal that option isn’t one for you (at least at the moment)

If you found that any of the traffic lights were on amber then you may want to consider proceeding slowly with that route. Maybe you need a bit more information or other people involved more. It’s not to say that it won’t work, it just may need a bit of tinkering to make it stronger. You may find that the details of how you imagined that route or destination will give you more indications about how that could be altered.

If you found that a routes traffic light was on green, then that’s a great inner signal to go ahead with that option.

If you found that you got more than one green light then that’s great to, you may want to consider how that could be combined or maybe you want to choose to pick the most pleasant journey /destination.

Have a week full of inner knowledge

Love

Jen

“Thought is free.”

(William Shakespear)

This week I thought I would revist a piece I wrote a couple of years ago:

For the last few days I’ve had a couple of lines of music stuck in my head. It started when I heard a brief clip of it on the TV and after that it went round and round so I found myself absentmindedly humming it throughout the day.

What was irritating was that it was only 2 lines – no more, it was uncompleted. In fact as soon as I realised that, I had the solution – listen to the complete tune and the previous irritating 2 lines were stuck no more.

It’s just like when people say to me that they keep saying or asking themselves the same question over and over. It’s often some form of “who do you think you are?” “I’m not worthy/ good/beautiful / (insert relevant word for you) enough.”

Often its because something is missing so that the question or statement is not completed and just like with a piece of tune, it goes round and round in your head.

So what’s missing? This week’s message will give some
categories that may give you ideas. As always be gentle with yourself, if you feel it is more appropriate that you work through this with a trained professional than please do find a coach, therapist, counsillor etc. that you are comfortable working with.

“It’s not what you said it’s how you said it”

You have probably seen instances where somebody has caused offence to another person not by what they said but by they way they said it. So first let’s play with how you are saying these things to yourself. It’s not unusual for these unfinished bits to be heard in your head as a sneer or said viciously.

Imagine what it would be like if that was said softly and gently, or asked with a genuine curiosity.

What would it feel like to say the same words to yourself with different emphasis?

I had one client who admitted that for as long as she could remember she had had this sneering voice say scornfully “who do you think you are?” whenever she thought of something new.

By asking herself that question in a gentle, loving and curious way – while changing the way she stressed the words, she had an entirely different experience. She changed the entire meaning of the question to her, and felt very differently about it.

She found that now she wasn’t hearing it as an insult and a put down, that she actually had loads of answers coming to her about what she wanted to be doing with a new career. In her case what was missing was an answer to the question – largely due to the fact she had never heard it as a question before.

What’s the other half of the question or statement?

Get specific, what precisely is it you are not good enough, worthy enough etc. to do? Sometimes just getting specific can be enough to realise that it’s an old outdated comment that really doesn’t matter any more. For example – I’m not good enough … “to make the school sports team” really doesn’t have the same importance to me now as it did at age 9!

Compared to who or what?

Sometimes we unconsciously compare ourselves to other people or an image that we have created for ourselves as perfection. It can be worth doing a reality to check here – is it a useful and realistic comparison to make?

For example, if you are not beautiful enough and you realise that your image of perfection involves you being 6 ft 2″ when in reality you are 4 ft 8″ you are setting yourself up to feel bad (unless you know some secret trick to grow that tall).

It may be that you realise that you are comparing yourself to someone with 30 years expertise when you’ve had 10 lessons – realistically, could that comparison be considered fair? It may be enough to realise that the comparison is laughable and you’ll find the question and statement is completed and no longer has that same power it had over you before.

Recap

1) Pick something that you keep asking yourself or saying to yourself.

2)Play with how you are saying it to yourself – just for 5
  minutes, if you really want to go back to the old way of
  saying it after that you can!

 Notice what’s different when you say it differently and stress different words.

3)What specifically is missing from the question/ statement for it to have more detail?

Some questions to help give you some ideas:
To do what?
Then what?
About what?
Who says?

Notice the difference including the missing bit to make it more specific makes. Is it still relevant to your life today?

4)What or who are you comparing yourself to?
Is this a realistic benchmark for you to have? If so, if you really must compare yourself to something, what could you pick instead?
(Bonus tip – you could compare yourself to how far that you have come.)

Most people report that by using tricks like the above, the questions and statements that used to have so much power no longer has the same effect over them.

Have a week full of completions

Love

“Wealth is not a matter of intelligence it’s a matter of inspiration.”
(Jim Rohn)

This week I saw the first episode of a show called Art Race. With only a $1 note, $250 worth of art materials and a map, 2 artists must trade their work for lifts, beds and food to travel across America in 40 days.

These are 2 respected and skilled artists who are willing to go to locations they don’t know and offer their expertise to complete strangers.

I have no idea which one of the 2 artists will make it across America creating the most money. As I watched the recording of their first two days they certainly, so far, have had different approaches. One immediately started doing small portrait sketches while the second artist started creating 3 large canvas paintings in a more modern abstract style.

The show reminded me of a question in the book “I Can Make You Rich
” by Paul McKenna. The question is all about exploring your hidden wealth – those things that you previously hadn’t thought of as “money makers” but are ideas and resources available to you.

This week I invite you to play with the question from the book

“If you woke up one morning in a place where you knew no-one, with £100 in your pocket, how long would it take you to double your money, and how would you do it?”

Remember we are only playing with this idea; you’re not really in a place where you know no one. If you’re first answer was “I don’t know” keep playing and let yourself consider ideas that you think are insane.

To help here are some additional questions and points to consider:

Like the artists, in the show, are using their art to create money:
What are your skills and abilities?
What can you do better than most people?
What do you know more about than most people?
What can you be classed as an expert at?
What have you already accomplished?
What do others respect/ admire you for?
What do you have that others would also love to have?
What do you do for free at the moment that others would actually pay for?

The book lists a few answers they have heard to that question, including from such “rich thinkers” as Peter Jones and Dame Anita Roddick and goes on to ask:

Having doubled that original £100, to £200, how long would it take you to double it again? (So you have £400) How would you do that?

Have a week full of wealth

Love

PS Michael Neill, the editor of I Can Make You Rich (the book this week’s exercise comes from) and successful trainer, coach and author is coming to London this month.

The multi-millionaire, Paul McKenna credits Michael’s approach with the following results: “I become more happier in myself, more successful and to be blunt, I have simply made a lot more money!”

Come and see for yourself why he is described as “the finest success coach in the world today” at two one day events.

Make More Money Michael will focus on reinventing your relationship with money.

What if the only thing standing between you and all the money you’ll ever want or need is… you. Click HERE for full details.

A Day Of Transformative Coaching: A one-day event where Michael will demonstrate and teach the fundamentals of transformative coaching. This event is particularly for coaches who want to learn Michael’s coaching style, but anyone will benefit.

Visit the website for full details.

Both events are open to all. I’m due to be assisting on both days so if you attend one or both events do come up and say hello and let me put a face to your name

“The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
(Stephen R. Covey)

In 1906 Vilfredo Pareto (an Italian economist) observed that 80% of the property in Italy was owned by 20% of the population.

In 1941 Joseph M. Juran (a business consultant) came across Pareto’s work and expanded upon the principals to apply that 80:20 relationship to quality control. For example, 80% of the problems are caused by 20% of the causes.

You may also have come across that 80/20 relationship elsewhere. In other words a small proportion (20%) of something produces/creates a large proportion (80%) of results. It does crop up quite often when you are looking. For example, the book, “The 4-hour Work Week” by Tim Ferris recommends focussing your attention on the 20% of activities that bring in 80% of your income.

At times, there maybe occassions when I question the precise acuracy of the figures where I come across the 80/20 relationship being applied.

I still haven’t found the study that confirmed those precise amounts that says that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. I agree that, on average, most people wear only a small proportion of their wardrobe – I’m just not convinced it falls as conveniently as such specific and round numbers

However, rather than getting hung up on the mathematics, I suggest you play with the concept of a small proportion of something producing/creating a large proportion of the results.

So how can you use the 80/20 rule in your life? Most people use it as a way to prioritise what you focus upon.

I know that when people are particularly busy, taking 5 minutes to play with something like this can seem impossible – there is so much to do, you couldn’t possible spare any time for anything else. In reality spending a few minutes to prioritise and pick the items that make the biggest difference can be the thing that puts pay to the headless chicken syndrome, where people run around busy and stressed but not achieving much.

Here’s some questions and ideas for you to play using the 80/20 rule:

Remember, these are your answers as they are relivent to you at this moment. You may find that your answers include actions, people, qualities, information etc. There is no right or wrong answers. It’s possible that some of the questions would be stronger for you if you made them more specific. By all means play with your wording, and see what answers you get.

· If you focused on the 20% of your strongest qualities, skills and abilities this week, what would be different? What would be the outcome if you choose to do this?

· What are the 20 % of things that if you did them would make that 80% difference?

Not sure? One way of finding that is by writing down all the things you have/want to do.
Add up everything you have on that list so that you know the number you have on there.
Using a calculator or just in your head divide the number of items by 5
(If your answer is not a whole number just use the closest whole number as your answer.)
Go through your original list of things you have/want to do and narrow it down to the things that will make the biggest difference if you spend time doing them. You are only allowed to select the number you got once you divided it by 5.

This is one of those techniques which is much easier to do in practice then it may first appear.
For example, If you wrote down 55 things you have/want to do, 55 divided by 5 is 11. So you can only select 11 items from that list that will make the biggest difference.

· What 20% creates 80% of your happiness?

· What, if any, 20% creates 80% of any unhappiness?

· What is the 20%, which for you, creates 80% more energy?

· The 80/20 rule, or Pareto’s principal as it’s also known, itself was taken from someone taking an observation and running with it in their own way. How can you use this in your life to make a difference?

Use the above and any other related questions that spring to mind as being useful for you to get extra clarity.

You then get to choose if you want to take any action to prioritise these in your life.
(You may even want to put a structure in place – be it some form of external reminder or building it into your daily routine)

Have a week full of things of your chosen priorities,

Love

Jen