Your Changing Direction

“However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.”

(Winston Churchill)

 A couple of years ago I got an opportunity to play on a “rope works” course – a series of climbing and rope activities. What was interesting to note was that when at ground level people would walk across a beam without blinking – put the same size beam up a couple of storeys and it became much more of a challenge to cross.

If you’ve recently seen the UK ITV Saturday evening show “The Cube” you’ve probably seen the same idea at work. Games that sound so simple, when played in “the cube” with an audience and increasing amounts of money at risk contestants report that it suddenly appears much harder.

The actually task has not altered it’s the way that we perceive the situation. Perhaps you’ve had your own version happen – maybe at school you could answer questions easily in a “normal” context but within an exam situation any knowledge you used to have appeared to have vanished. 

Maybe you’ll happily pitch an idea to complete strangers but the prospect of doing that to friends and colleagues is horrendous. Or you’re the life and sole of the party with one group of friends but at a works social setting you find that you are sat in a corner not saying a word.

Perhaps you’ll happily talk to a group about something that you love but the prospect of making small talk in a social situation leaves you cold.

Sometimes what makes the difference is taking what you already know in one situation and using it in a different one.  This applies not only to the same activity (ie crossing a beam) in a different situation (i.e. ground level and up in the air) but also for using strategies that work in one context and applying them to another to see the difference that makes.

For example, maybe you are excellent at easily preparing a meal so that it’s all ready at the same time – perhaps you could use the same “know how” if you are suddenly asked to manage a project at work.

Or perhaps you can use the same methods you use to easily create a peace of artwork to create ideas to generate income.

Often we can get bogged down and stuck with a situation or scenario because of the idea that there is a “right way” that we “should” do something. If the “should” works that’s great – if it doesn’t work for you it seems pointless not to try another method to get the result you are aiming for.

This week I invite you to play with the following to use strategies and methods that already work for you and apply them to a new situation:

1. Divide a piece of paper into two columns.

2. Pick something that you already easily do well and write that at the top of your first column.

3. Pick a situation that you would like to make easier and write that at the top of the second column.

4. In the first column note down the following in relation to the thing that you easily do well:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

What preparation (if any) do you do?

What action do you take?

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

5. Now answer the same questions in the second column in relation to the thing that you’d like to do more easily:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

What preparation (if any) do you do?

What action do you take?

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

For example:

Recently I was writing an article and had got “stuck”, staring at a blank screen. Knowing that this particular method wasn’t getting me very far other than being mildly frustrated I decided to do something different and played with this exercise.

Having just easily written the contents of a training package I picked that for my first column and answered as follows:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

Shoulders relaxed, sat upright, feet flat on the ground, feeling centred and balanced with slow and relaxed breathing.

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

I’ll have already defined what my objective is and know how I can measure that it has been achieved – i.e. to give participants methods to increase their confidence and take their life to the next level.

What preparation (if any) do you do?

I start by using pencil and paper to mind-map all my ideas and see how they all fit together. I also ensure that the environment is comfortable and conducive to working.

What action do you take?

Before starting to type anything I will have a plan laid out on paper and only then flush that out in type followed by an editing phrase.

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

If things aren’t going smoothly I’ll refer back to what I want to achieve and try another way to get there. I’ll possibly even discuss the content with someone else to clarify my ideas.

In my second column I had:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

Sat slouched, ankles crossed, breathing shallower than normal,

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

All I had defined for what I wanted to achieve was a finished article with no real thought about any more depth than that.

What preparation (if any) do you do?

I’d switched on the computer!

What action do you take?

Typed some sentences and attempted to edit as I went along so that I was deleting far more than was actually going into the article.

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

Sit and stare at the blank screen hoping for inspiration!

A quick glance reminded me firstly that if I changed my physiology I’d automatically feel better. It also allowed me to follow the same steps I take when writing a training package – as soon as I had got really clear on my outcome I was off and writing again.

Have a play and see what answers come up for you. You may want to then choose to do the things that work for you in one context in another and see the difference that makes.

Have a week full of stuff that works that you already know

Love

“Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway.”
(Mary Key Ash)

Wednesday night saw The Pride of Britain Awards televised in the UK. The awards show honours ordinary people who are capable of extraordinary things.

All winners were there because of their inspirational stories. Some had shown exceptional courage in a moment when others could have frozen in that situation. These included Sally-Ann Sutton who fought a “raging rottweiler” to save a 1 year old from an attack.

Others were individuals who weren’t conforming to what is perhaps the perceived “wisdom” about what they could achieve. Doris Long for example learnt to absail at the age of 85. Major Phil Packer, who after sustaining a spinal chord injury while serving in Iraq, decided that he would raise £1 million pounds for charity – with a series of physical challenges such as completing the London Marathon.

Both these individuals found ways and methods to achieve what they wanted despite their age or a physical injury. So what’s getting in your way of living the life that you want?

If you have ever read or watched any sci-fi or fantasy books, shows or films you’ll probably have come across the concept of parallel worlds and universies – an alternative reality. A world that is identical to this one but with one difference. As one of the characters explains in Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “alternate realities. You could uh, could have like a world without shrimp. Or with, you know, nothing but shrimp.”

Now, while I’d say it was unusual if you think that it’s shrimp holding you back, it reminded me of a variation on a question I’d heard Michael Neill ask in his 7 myths of success CD set

If there was an alternative world set up to help someone who looks and sounds exactly like you succeed despite what’s getting in your way, how would it be set up?

So for example, if you find the thing that’s in your way is speaking in public then maybe there are places you can go and learn how to do that comfortably and easily.
Or maybe it’s a world that’s set up so that you communicate mainly using other methods.

Perhaps it’s lack of finance that is getting in your way – maybe in that alternative reality there are lots of people who would love to give you money in exchange for the value that you bring. Maybe there are people who love to manage money for you in an efficient manner.

Or how about a universe that is set up just to help someone lacking in motivation. Maybe in that universe there are individuals who will do everything they know to do to coax, teach, provide accountability and support you so that you find momentum to easily enjoy moving forward. Perhaps in this alternative reality there were systems in place to encourage you to take action.

Play and be as imaginative as you want with your answers – after all this is an alternative reality we’re talking about, the aim is to make it up.

It’s only fair that I should warn you – it’s possible that along the way you may find that the idea’s that you have actually already exist in this world. If that does happen then there is potential that you may find yourself wanting to take action to bring that idea into reality for you.

Have a fun week full of creating reality

Love

Jen