Your Changing Direction

Today’s resource for the New Year is Jinny Ditzler’s book Your Best Year Yet.

Your Best Year Yet is a book that is split into 3 parts, an introduction to the principals behind “Your Best Year Yet” and sharing experiences of those who have already played, part two comprises of 10 chapters, with each chapter devoted to a particular question and part 3 is the space in the book for you to answer your questions and complete your very own best year yet “workshop”. How you use this book is is up to you, if you wanted you could jump straight to part 3 referring back only to part 2 for any clarity you need on any of the questions. You may want to read parts one and two in preparation for using the program yourself.

The workshop section comprises of 10 questions that look back over the last year, guides you through identifying what you want and then walks you through setting your own guidelines and focus. In my opinion, it’s beauty is in its simplicity. Its layout means that no matter if you are familiar with goal setting creating your own personal plan for the year ahead is very easy.

You can take as long as you like to complete this book but I would estimate that the final section would need 2-3 hours to answer fully.

[Amazon.co.uk] Your Best Year Yet: Make the Next 12 Months Your Best Ever!

[Amazon.com] Your Best Year Yet: Make the Next 12 Months Your Best Ever!

“Our aspirations are our possibilities.”

(Samuel Johnson)

Have you noticed that sometimes the answer that you get will depend upon the question that you’ve asked?

I don’t know if you actually make any New Years Resolutions or set any goals for the year ahead but if you did how would you do it? What questions would you ask yourself?

If you are not aware of asking yourself any questions then you may like to look at previous new years resolutions/ goals and see what question they are answering.

Your answer will no doubt have depended upon the question that you asked.

This week I will talk about some of the common questions that people use when making New Years resolutions, setting goals and generally deciding what they want to create in their lives. (Oh OK a couple may not be so common but can be useful ) I invite you to use these questions to come up with some possibilities. You can then use your answers to decide if that is something that you would actually like to turn into a reality.

Why does it matter what questions are asked?

While some things may happen because of external things that are completely outside of your control, others events happen, at least partly, because of actions that you choose to take.

Earlier this year I was assisting on a couple of Michael Neill’s trainings where he stated that for most people the future they imagine is approximately plus or minus 10% of their past. That is, the future they imagine falls somewhere between 10% better or 10% worst than how they see their past.

But the future hasn’t actually happened yet so the future holds infinite possibilities that fall outside that 10%. (Unless you are a time traveller and you’re reading this on a trip into the past!) Sometimes, the questions that you use help you to see more of those possibilities so you can choose if you want to take action to make them real.

I invite you to play with the following questions and just notice the answers that come up for you.

You’ll probably find it easier if you don’t jump ahead to figuring out what the next step is to making your answers into a reality – I know it’s tempting but you may miss including some really cool things by doing it that way. It’ll be like only watching the first song of your favourite bands music concert and then leaving because you thought you had heard all they had to offer.

Besides, I’ve put together a list of resources that may help you with the next steps but I’ll tell you more about that after you’ve played with more possibilities.

(You may want to have a pen and paper handy to answer them)

What New Years Resolutions should you set?

What New Years Resolution do you want to set?

What New Years resolution would you love to set?

What New Year resolutions will you set?

What goals do you want to achieve in your future?

What goals would be fun to have in your future?

What goals are the next logical things to do in your future?

What would you love to create in 2010?

What would put a huge grin on your face in 2010?

What may seem impossible and/or impractical but you’d still love to have it in 2010?

If you know that you would be loved unconditionally regardless, what would you choose to do?

If you knew money was no object what would you choose?

If you know that it didn’t matter if you didn’t get it, what would you love to work towards?

Once you have answered these questions, and any other that spring to your mind, read through your answers. You may notice that you have similar or very different answers to how you normally do such things.

It’s now up to you, which (if any) you want to pick to use in your future.

Bonus tip

Sometimes your initial answer to a question is one that is influenced by how you think what you actually want can be done i.e. winning the lottery is one way of creating more money in your life.

To open up more possible answers, you may want to ask, “What would that give me” about your initial answer. Keep asking yourself for each level of answer that you come up with (even if it feels like you are making it up) until you can’t answer anymore.

For example, what would winning the lottery give me? More money

What would more money give me? I’d feel like I had more freedom to do more fun things easier.

For any that you would like to include in your future, now is the time to consider what the next step is to travel towards it.  For further resources that may be relevant for you click here. Then you can choose if that is something you want to do.

Have a week full of more infinite possibilities

Love

Jen 

PS For more resources compiled to make your New Year resolutions, your 2010 goals and generally to create the life you’d love easier click here.

The first of the New Year resources recommendations for you is Michael Neill’s Creating the Impossible.

Sometimes you may allow yourself to admit that thing that you’d love to have/do/achieve but quickly follow that thought up with but “that’s impossible.”

In July last year over 550 people took part in “Creating the Impossible”, an online program designed to support you to transform your world in 30 days.

January see’s the program running again so if you have something that

1) You believe you have less than a 50% chance of success during January

AND

2) You are passionate about so that regardless how it turns out you’ll be glad of the time and energy that you invested

Click here to find out how you can join Michael Neill’s program.

Apart from being lots of fun and highly supportive I fond that the first time this ran I achieved so much more than I would in a regular 30 days – I certainly plan to kick start my 2010 by creating the impossible again.

Click here for more details and to reserve your place.

New Year is often the time when people make resolutions, set goals and generally decide what they want to create in 2010.

Over the next few days I’ll be highlighting a particular resource each day but you can always jump ahead now by clicking on a link below to find out more information.

To help here is a list of resources to make that easier for you.

What to create/set

Creating the Impossible

The Best Year Yet

Support for Common New Year Resolutions/goals

The Slim Girls Little Box of Secrets

Quit Smoking Today

Hypno Drunk

Money Made Fun

Dealing with Interview Nerves: The interactive coaching package

Get everything done and still have time to play

The Get it Done Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips to Work Less and Do More

Free Rice

“As for your future, your task is not to foresee it, but to enable it.”

(Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

This is the third piece in a series of pieces inspired by the festive story of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. If you missed the first one you can read it again here and the second one can be found here.

The third and final Ghost to put in an appearance in the story is the Ghost of Christmas future, who perhaps would be more accurately named the Ghost of Christmas future that may be – though I’ll admit it doesn’t have quite the same ring! As Scrooge found out the future that he was shown was one possible outcome if he carried on taking the same action.

The end of the year is nearly upon us and many people use the New Year as a time to set New Years Resolutions, set goals for their future and evaluate what they would love to create in the year ahead.

Unless you are a clairvoyant then our perception of the future is all best guesses about the chances we believe something will happen based upon experience and the action to be taken.

And sometimes this can be an incredibly useful way of behaving, for example the chances are very high that you will burn yourself if you stick you hand on a hot stove. For the record, it’s something I personally recommend that you don’t do J

You may have noticed that how we imagine the future can have an impact upon what we do in the present. If you played with last weeks piece you may also be aware that sometimes we also place restrictions upon ourselves by the stories we tell about our future.

I don’t know if you have ever listened to the way that some people describe what they want in the future but the language they use and how they describe it to themselves can make a big difference to how easy they find taking action to make what they are describing a reality in their future.

Have you ever heard someone say a variation of “what I want is to get back to …”?

For example I want to get back to a size 12

I want to get back to sleeping 8 hours a night.

I want to get back the confidence I had 10 years ago.

Maybe you have your own version of something you want to get back to …

What I’ve noticed is that when people include that “get back to” in the description of what they want, the focus is upon the fact that they have lost it rather than the outcome. This may be an accurate description of what they are feeling. However, I do know that it is often easier to get the result you want by just tweaking the language you are using so that you loose the “get back” bit without loosing the result that you want.

For example, I want to get back to a size 12 becomes I want to be a size 12,

Or

I want to get back to sleeping 8 hours a night becomes I want to sleep 8 hours a night.

In both examples the focus has shifted to totally being upon the outcome that you want.

Sometimes as you tweak, it may be appropriate to add more specifics of what you want in the future.

For example, I want to get back the confidence I had 12 years ago can become I want to be feeling confident as I return to work.

This week as I know the festive period is often a busy one I invite you just to notice the language that you use and to play with the description of anything you want to “get back to”.

Next week I will stick to the theme of how we predict the future and get more specific about New Years Resolutions, goal setting and creating the year that you want.

I hope that you have a fantastic Christmas week

Love

Jen

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I love now.”

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

This is the second in three pieces that uses the Ghosts that appear in Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” as inspiration. If you missed the first piece about the ghost of Christmas Past then you can still read it here.

The second of the Ghosts to visit Ebenezer Scrooge was the Ghost of Christmas Present, and I invite you this week to play with the concept of being in the present.

One of the dictionary definitions of the word ghost is “a duplicated image in a defected telescope or television picture.” Maybe you’ve had the experience of plucking up courage to do something or talk to someone and find that it really wasn’t as bad as you imagined. That is often because the image or story that we have projected about the future wasn’t particularly accurate.

I’ll talk more about the future in next weeks message but often you can scare yourself in the present with the story of what the future brings.

Maybe you’ve constructed an entire story around what will happen if you stand up in front of the group – it’ll be a story unique to you, but perhaps it includes the audience not liking your message, the throwing of rotten tomatoes and generally being forced to leave the country!

Or perhaps the story you’ve constructed about asking that person out is that they will say no and then mount an entire award winning international marketing campaign to advertise the fact they said no.

Yes, I know that they are extreme examples but it’s the story told before hand that leads to comments such as “It was nowhere near as bad as I imagined” or “I don’t know what I was worried about” when someone actually goes and does the activity they were afraid of doing.

One of the cats that shares my home has set places around the house where he pauses and checks that there is nothing about to pounce on him around the next corner.

In reality the only thing that is likely to be ready to pounce is one of the other cats in a playful mood but he still checks before going on his way, presumably in case there are any assassins or cat eating animals in the present moment.

One day maybe he’ll decide that the check is no longer needed but he doesn’t let it keep him penned into one location, as he checks and then carries on his way.

This week I invite you to play with something that you’ve been putting off but the only thing that has stopped you is fear and we’re going to use similar checks that my cat does as he goes about his travels.

It probably goes without saying, but pick something to play with where there is no life threatening consequences – standing in the middle of the road as a speeding lorry heads in your direction is not the time to play!

Before you start “check in” with how you are feeling now, how you choose to do that is up to you. You may like to mentally physically do a scan to see how all your body is feeling; maybe you just want to ask yourself or perhaps you know to do something else.

If you find that there is any fear firstly you’ll probably find it helpful to remember to breath while playing with this – always something I encourage Generally slowing and deepening your breath can have a big impact on how you feel.

Having done that let’s play, at this very moment are there any life threatening assassins with you? At the present second is there any human eating animals that are physically going to pounce?

If the answer is yes to either question then my suggestion would be that you have other things to contend with other than playing with this! Most likely (unless there is a rash of assassins or lots of escaped man-eating animals I’m unaware off) you’ll find that at this present time you are actually quite safe and OK.

Take the next small step and again check if there are any life threatening assassins or man-eating animals in this moment?

Providing the present does not have that threat check your breathing and take the next small step. Now check if there is any assassins or man-eating animals.

Keep going taking small steps and checking if there is any physical danger in any given moment.

For example, Jane wanted to explain a new idea to a team at work but has previously kept quiet because the idea of talking to a group scared her. At the next meeting she remembered to breath but also checked if there were any assassins or man-eating animals in the room.

As the meeting agenda went on she kept checking if there were any assassins as each discussion point passed, until eventually the question “does anyone else have anything they want to add?” was asked. No assassins or man-eating animals so with a deep breathe Jane heard herself say “yes”. Still no assassins or man-eating animals so she went on to outline her idea.

In case you were wondering, the idea was liked and her line manager gave her some really positive feedback about how great it was to hear her contribute in the team meetings as Jane has such great ideas she can share. The world didn’t end, nobody threw rotten tomatoes and she didn’t have to hunt around for her passport because she was being forced to leave the country.

Remember we are only playing so if it takes you a couple of attempts to get to any particular next step, as there are no assassins or man-eating animals about to pounce, just start again. For example, if you are playing with the concept of making a sales call maybe it takes you a couple of attempts to dial 10 numbers before you ring the final 11th and the phone starts to ring.

Have a week living in the present minus assassins and man-eating animals!

Love

Jen

One of my favourite Christmas tales is Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”. If you have never come across the story before the general gist is that 3 ghosts visit the principal character. The ghost of Christmas past who shows Christmases that have been, the ghost of Christmas present who shows the current situation of others in the present. The final ghost is the ghost of Christmas future who shows what may happen and become in the future. 

I was reminded the other day that this phenomenon is something that isn’t actually confined to the festive period. I’m not saying that at the stroke of a particular hour a ghost arrives in your bedroom to show you some particular event! But we can have the same effect in our own heads! Over the next 3 weeks I’m going to take the 3 ghosts as a loose theme for each of the pieces, starting today with the Ghost of Christmas Past.

The Ghost of Christmas Past.

“The one charm of the past is that it is the past.” 

(Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray)

As we come into this festive season you have possibly already begun to see various TV channels put together trailers full of short clips of the various highlights of their shows. You may have already seen one that specialised in a particular genre of TV, maybe it was a series of clips featuring all comedy clips, highlighting drama or animated films.

Just like the ghost of Christmas past in A Christmas Carol shows Scrooge a series of clips from his past, it’s not unusual for us to do that for ourselves with our own memories. Sometimes we place more emphasis on certain clips more than others.

I was listening to an interview with a film actor recently who was saying that out of 100 reviews 99 of them may be superb and 1 may be more critical – yet it was the more critical one that he found that he focused upon. In effect, just like the TV channels, he had created his own trailer but just choose to include the “negative” clips.

Perhaps you have done this for yourself, blowing anything that you view as “negative” out of proportion and ignored other events. This week I invite you to play with something that will deliberately create your own imaginary trailers and see the difference that has for you.

I’m going to start by saying that if you are haunted by flashbacks etc of a traumatic incident or events then I encourage you to seek the help of a trained professional. Not because I think that it means anything negative about you, but because it is often easier to be able to take a step back from anything that had a strong negative emotional impact with someone else there as a guide.

Imagine that you are creating your own trailer (that can be as long as you want) featuring memories of happy times, fun times, when things have gone well, times when you have received compliments. If this is something you are not used to doing you may want to give yourself time and allow yourself to come up with your answers.

These are your clips and your trailer so it is stuff that is important to you, it’s not being judged by anyone else so include the clips that are relevant to you.

When you have several times, imagine putting them together in your own trailer – You get to choose if you want to imagine this running on a miniature TV, as a 360 degree 3D feature or something in between.

This is your creation so by all means play with the lighting and the different shots you include, are these ones from your point of view or one from someone else’s?

You may have noticed that these trailers come with specially created soundtracks to accompany them. So what soundtrack do you want to include in your trailer – you can always play with the balance of the track(s) that you want to include.

Maybe you want a big power ballad or gospel choir. Perhaps there is a tune that every time you hear it always makes you feel really good.

Keep playing with what you include and how you choose to present this to yourself and notice how different it feels. Remember that you can play with this anytime that you want or need to

Bonus Tip

Extend this trailer to include even more important aspects of your life.

If you feel that includes the occasional “bump in the road” then by all means include that and this time you get to choose how much “air time” you want to give it and if you want to make it appear more important than other aspects. Do you really want to give 1 “negative” review more airtime than the other 99?

For example, is one occasion when a presentation didn’t go as well as you wanted it to as important as the birth of your children?

Have a week enjoying being the director of your own trailers

Love