Your Changing Direction

“You must train your intuition – you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.”

(Ingrid Bergman)

I was driving along in some traffic recently, absently humming along with a tune on the radio, when I came across a series of pedestrian crossings with traffic lights. The thought occurred to me (as I cheerfully got to a particularly good bit of the song) that traffic lights are a hugely recognised form of communicating their desired message.

When I’m working with an individual or group, at a very basic level, the answer is often a mix of starting something new, continuing what they are already doing or stopping something.

This week I invite you to play with that concept and to make use of the traffic light signals to access your own inner judgement.

1. Pick something that you are happy playing with to get more insight, more ideas and/or generally get unstuck.

 

2. If you were going to start doing something in this area what could you do?
    
3. If you were going to continue doing something that makes a positive difference in this area what would that be?

 

4. If you were going to stop something connected with this area what would that be?

 

You may want to read through the next instructions before carrying them out.

5.  Imagine that you are going to take 4 different road journeys, all with the same starting point but along different routes.

 

6.  The first one is one that represents what you could start doing. As you imagine travelling along this road and this route notice what that journey is like. The length of this route is as long as it is, and while travelling you may observe the scenery, the condition of the road, who’s driving, the weather and the state of where this route ends.

 

7. Take as long as you need to fully experience that journey. When you  get to the end, imagine returning to your starting point. You’ll find that at the start of that road route a set of traffic lights has appeared. Just notice if they are at red, amber or green.

 

8.  Now, we’re going to travel along the second route, this road journey represents what you can continue doing. Again pay attention to what this particular journey is like and where it finishes. 

 

9.  Once you have reached your destination, as if by magic, you’ll find that you are back at the starting point and there is another set of traffic lights for the road just travelled. Are these ones on red, green or amber?

 

10.   Imagine taking the third option, the one that represents what you could stop doing and as you’ll probably have already have guessed you notice the journey and the destination as you travel along.

 

11.   When you have finished that route and you’re ready, you’ll find yourself back at that same starting point with another set of traffic lights that has appeared for the third route. Again notice if these ones are red, green or amber.

 

12.   The forth and final route represents an option you have not yet considered. As you travel along this route, there may or may not be clues about what this route actually represents. If there is not, it’s not important at this stage – just carry on noticing what there is to be aware of when taking this option.

 

13.   When you have completed that route, return to the start again and as another set of traffic lights have appeared – notice if these ones are on red, green or amber.

 

14.   At this stage become aware of your physical surroundings of the room that you are currently in and maybe even stretch and wiggle your fingers and toes.

 

So what did you learn by playing with that?

If you found that any of the traffic lights were on red, it’s probably a pretty good inner signal that option isn’t one for you (at least at the moment)

If you found that any of the traffic lights were on amber then you may want to consider proceeding slowly with that route. Maybe you need a bit more information or other people involved more. It’s not to say that it won’t work, it just may need a bit of tinkering to make it stronger. You may find that the details of how you imagined that route or destination will give you more indications about how that could be altered.

If you found that a routes traffic light was on green, then that’s a great inner signal to go ahead with that option.

If you found that you got more than one green light then that’s great to, you may want to consider how that could be combined or maybe you want to choose to pick the most pleasant journey /destination.

Have a week full of inner knowledge

Love

Jen

Did you know that next week is Freedom from Fear of Speaking Week?

It seems an appropriate time to mention Jonathan Altfeld’s public speaking and presentation skills course.

With London dates in July and US and Australian courses in October, this is a course I highly recommend if you want to increase your confidence and be more compelling when speaking in front of people.

I make it a principal of only recommending products and events that I have already tried and consider a quality product that gets results. If you are looking for a course to develop your public or group speaking then I highly recommend Speaking Ingeniously with the trainer Jonathan Altfeld.

I attended such a course a few years ago (under the previous title of holographic communication). There was a broad range of experience within the group attending. From individuals who literally shook at the idea of speaking in front of the group, to trainers and speakers who would professionally daily speak to groups.

Using just the right mix for everyone in the group Jonathan quickly dealt with any nerves that any of the group used to have and provided a course that blended techniques and exercises with individual coaching.

Jonathan Altfeld is a highly skilled communicator and trainer whom it is an absolute pleasure to watch at work. He cultivates a learning environment which nurtures and develops the skills of every ability within the group. The journey which Jonathan easily guided us through creates epic transformations, no matter what experience the individual started day 1 with.

Using a combination exercises and group work, lessons and skills easily emerge which can be utilised not only in public speaking but in the far wider concept of everyday life.

The amount of time Jonathan spent with the group went far and beyond the call of duty, it wasn’t at all unusual for Jonathan to join the group for meals or in the bar and carry on covering subjects more informally.

Plus as a special bonus to Your Changing Direction readers Jonathan is offering a free copy of his Truth Detection mp3’s with your booking. To make sure you get your copy make sure that you quote my name (Jen Waller) and ask about the bonus – If you let me know as well I’ll double check that you get your bonus

Click HERE for full details about the course including video clips showing the change in previous participants.

“Our language is funny – a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing”. ~J. Gustav White

I have to give the IT support team, where I used to work, credit. They would be quite use to me calling to say something highly technical like “the thingy-ma-jig isn’t working” (which of course is different to a what’s-it). The team were very good at interpreting what I was talking about and provide me with a solution.

The ones who were really good, and provided easy to follow instructions, were the ones who stepped into my world and used little or no technical jargon in their answers.

I was reminded about this recently while working with someone wanting to change their career. This individual had lots of relevant experience, the industry that they were in used different “labels” to describe the same actions and responsibilities that the new career required.

One of the first things that we did was to amend their CV so that the language used matched the labels in the new industry. We kept the facts the same. This automatically helped the potential employer see the match between the experience and skills and what they wanted in that role.

Both of the above are examples of using the other person’s language to communicate more effectively. The IT team to communicate a solution (and possibly get some peace from me ) With the CV example it was about strongly communicating how well the candidate matched what the potential employer wanted.

Sometimes a person’s language can also be an indication of the individual’s interests. For example, you may find that there is a lot of sporting references in their every day language – “moving the goal posts”, “letting the side down” or “a clean sheet” being phrases that can often be used and all originate from sport.

On other occasions it may be a cultural reference – it was interesting to see a localised family run business merge with a multinational company and see both sides adapt to the language and jargon that both cultures regularly used.

You may have noticed that when someone is describing a situation they paint a picture with their words so that you get a taste of what they are talking about. Sometimes you may only get a whiff of what they meant. How much you feel that you understand may be an indication of how successful the message was communicated. People often do this by using words that make use of the senses.

For example, some words and phrases that make use of the visual sense are: image, illuminate, hazy, bright, unsightly, focus, big picture and green with envy.

Some words and phrases that make use of the auditory (hearing) sense: buzz, dialogue, discuss, ring, tone, off-beat, tune in-to, clear as a bell and speak your mind.

Some words and phrases that make use of the sense of touch and feelings*: grasp, lukewarm, nudge, painful, sense, cool customer and hold on a moment.

*(This can also be referred to as kinaesthetic – but that is still just a label to aid communication in certain groups/fields of knowledge)

Some words and phrases that make use of the senses of taste and smell: acidic, choke, digest, savour, gut feeling, tough to swallow, nosey, odour, pungent, reeks, sniff, I smell a rat and a sweet smell of success.

You may notice that in certain situations and instances that a person may use words that predominately make use of one or a few of the senses. Just like in the example where we matched the same language for the CV etc it can help your communication to match words using the senses that they used when you notice them.

(Remember people do change over time so don’t automatically presume that because a person used visual or auditory words for a situation on one occasion that they will still use those to describe it on another. It is wise to pay attention to see if it has altered)

If there is someone you would like to communicate more effectively with I invite you to play with the following. It may be an individual or group.

1. Notice the language that they are using.

2. Pay attention to how it is different to the language that you use.

3. If you have detected a difference in a “label,” you may want to check to see if your understanding of what they are saying is actually what they mean.

4. Just for fun, what happens if you adopt their language?

Use your own judgement with what and when you choose to do this. Sometimes it can seem “clunky” when you are getting used to doing this and there may be certain circumstances that you don’t want that to be the case.

Have a lovely week

Love

Jen